Thursday, November 17, 2005

My other ride is Miss Melanoma

Getting ready for Thanksgiving and the big Texas A&M game. I mean, yes, we're gonna lose (again) this year, but does anybody go to College Station to really see who is going to win the big game? It's a good time all around, though, and I get to visit my old stompin grounds: the Dixie Chicken, the Dry Bean Saloon, the College Station police department. I'm excited and ready to give myself a reason to throw up.
The plan is to have Thanksgiving dinner with Dad (see above) and the family , which I'm also excited about. (Check out the new tatt on his hand.) It's great to have friends that are like family to you, that you actually get excited about seeing during the holidays.
Tuesday was the big 31 (can you believe it?) and I had a great one. I had chocolate cake at midnight with candles and everything. One of my presents was getting my first pedicure since the surgery, and I think it turned out pretty cute. Spent hours playing House of Dead at Dave & Busters, which made my little queasy friend all motion sick. That's okay, though, because the Dramamine was a good addition to the party. Also went up in "The Ball," and had two of the strongest vodka & tonics ever, which made the rest of the evening STELLAR. I was amped just to be feeling so good. Then went down to July Alley, where the bartender hit on me so hard my head was spinning. Hey, I may have cancer, but I still got it. And by "IT" I mean cleavage. Anyway, that's it for now. I'm working on some more promotions for local stuff & I'll let you know how it goes. Enjoy your pumpkin pie if I don't talk to ya!


Monday, November 14, 2005

What if the Hokey Pokey is what it's ALL ABOUT?

The scans are coming! The scans are coming!
So the scan results are in, and they're all good. The MRI, the bone scan, and the CT scan were all negative (which is positive!), no spread of cancer as evidenced. Who's a happy camper? Your mama is.
It's been a crazy few days since I posted last time. Saturday I came dangerously close to passing out in the shower, i.e.- I started to black out and then laid in the bottom of the shower for twenty minutes trying to recoup, which in reality meant I just thought about the soap scum and all the hair in the drain. Then I went into wretching mode, which really meant that I just transferred my attention to how badly the toilet needed to be cleaned. Finally I called Bobby in, after I had taken off all of my clothes and was laying on the tile, where Bobby kept saying, "Um, oh God, don't lay there, um, Lori, oh... eww, gross." Later I was informed that this was a floor where "countless girls have hurled and numerous guys have pissed anywhere but the toilet." At the time, though, you know how it is: you just want cold tile against your body. Oh, the porceline god, we bow down to you.
So I took a Vicodin, and if you know me at all, you know that it had to be some serious f**king pain for me to do that, but I did and felt better. Anything was better than going to the ER, which I seriously considered for about .72 seconds. I've come up with some theories as to what was going on, but they involve the Black Panthers and radio waves transmitted through Nancy Regan's teeth, and we just don't have time to go into all that, kids. I did speak with Dr. Vk about the incessant nausea, and he wrote me a Rx for Kytrol (sp?), which isn't covered by Medicaid, and, guess what, is $1500 for a month's supply. So the plan now is to sell my heart on the black market, but it's so tempting to buy a car instead. I found a great Impala on car soup, and it's a toss-up: nausea free for a month or a mode of transportation? You decide.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Extreme Amputation!

Girl, you knows it's true! Before and after photos for all of you that have been requesting them. Notice how chunky that right foot is compared to the left one... yeah, that's a difference in size 6 and 1/2 and a size 8. It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside; and shoe shopping, for that matter. Hey, you can't say I don't have character.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

The World Looks Mighty Good to Me

Went to the YMCA today, they have a program for people on Disability to join at a reduced rate, and I think I'm gonna. It's been months since I've been able to work out, and the last dr. appointment with Dr. Bietsch I got official clearance. They said to start out slow, walking just a block or two a day at first, but I'm pretty sure I'm doing that already. They said the more active I am, the more my leg is gonna swell, but I can't be this out of shape. It's making me crazy. Tom Cruise crazy, which is not to say I'm Courtney Love crazy yet, but lets not press our luck, kids.
Anyway, I'm gonna start walking and hopefully get up to running again, and I'll add up my miles to see how long it takes me to get to marathon status- 26.2 miles. I'm gonna do it, but it may take a while- i.e., all of you will be grandparents. So there you go. That's it for now, monkeys. Let's be safe out there.


P.S. Big news coming soon about a short film you're gonna wanna see. Stay Tuned!

Sweet Home Melanoma

Here's what I got for you today: I went to Gilda's club tonight, and there were about 6 people that came to the living with cancer suppport group. I can't tell you what it's like, being around all these women with cancer that handle it so unbelievably. It is just an inspiration to hear them talk. I'm having trouble articulating it tonight, but just trust me that they are inspiring just to know, and I feel blessed for the experience. Blessed, I tell you. Word.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Learn all the rules. Then break them.

Wow, quite the weekend, and I spent a lot of it with Bobby. What can I say about Bobby? If I started typing now, I'd still be sitting here in a year typing about him- that's how awesome this guy is. That's how blessed I am just to have him as a friend, and being more than that, really getting to know him and falling for him- it's been amazing. He's always there, that's what really gets me. He's ALWAYS there with a kind word and a pick me up, he's always saying the most incredible things to me. A lot of times I think about how he deserves so much better than this- than having a girl with cancer... and I just wish I could run away to an island and just deal with this all by myself. But anyway, that's not the point. A lady in my group tonight told me that I don't want to be loved, because I don't want the people around me to feel the pain that I'm going through. I'm not really going thru any pain; the chemo is more an inconvenience than anything else. But the thought itself blows my mind. Really, I can not describe it, but you have to trust me. Anyway, here's what Bobby and I were talking about today:

So we're sitting around talking about our respective high schools, and he asks why I didn't go to my 10 year reunion. I'll be honest, because I was honest with him, I know I've done a lot, but I feel like I haven't accomplished my "big thing" yet. That's what I told him, and I meant it. Do you ever feel that way? Like you were born to do something big, something great, and you just haven't done it yet?
You should've heard Bobby go on and on about how wrong it was for me to say that. He says the craziest things, said today that other people look at me the way I think about the nurses I come across. I don't know, I don't see it, but it's not the point. What is the point? Simply this: That it made me think a lot about life and about destiny and about what it's all about. What if THIS is what it's all about? Today, right now, this moment. Everything in my life- all I've learned, everyone I've known, mistakes made and paths taken - all of it lead up to this moment, all of it was because of what I'm supposed to do today. It's a mind-boggling thought, but it's not too big to wrap my brain around, and here's why: because part of me believes it. Part of me believes that my whole life has been leading up to where I am now, to this experience, to melanoma. It's the big thing I've been destined to do with my life. I've always known I was supposed to do something big, and I finally feel like I've chipped the iceberg on what it is. This is part of it, too. This blog, and all of you reading it. It's crazy but true. It's just a tiny part of the something bigger I know I'm supposed to do with my life, one of the little steps that will hopefully lead to me making a huge difference. Bobby and I only went on one date before I was diagnosed, and he says that's no coincidence. He says we were meant to go through this together, to beat all this together and work together to make this a bigger purpose. I don't know, but it seems to make sense sometimes. And so, because I love an inter-active blog, :) I encourage all of you: be a part of this bigger thing with me. Tell everyone you know about this site, email anybody who knows anyone else. It's the only way that people will find out about the dangers of melanoma, about the insane easiness that can be prevention, about the risks to people that are just as young as you and me. Help me to be something bigger, help me to make this whole disease something that wasn't experienced in vain. It would mean a lot to me, and it could help so many others.

Thanks for the love,



I'm Too Young For This!