Sunday, October 14, 2012

Like Whoa

It has been a crazy couple of months, and it's strange to look back at this blog and see that my last post at the beginning of August and the disarray my life appeared to be then.

And here we are in October. School is in full swing and is as crazy as ever. There have been a lot of management changes in my district and we have all been affected.  Teachers more than anyone, but everyone is on edge and it seems like people who you never would've guessed are biting everyone's heads off.  Luckily, there is a small group of us that are still friends and close, and I really believe that we are all getting through this only because we have each other.

But it's only 29 more weeks, right?

To add insult to injury, I've recently been accused of something at work (that was later found to be a lie), and I was quite shaken by that.  The whole incident made me realize what a huge part of my life my job and my students are, and I have a new found appreciation for work.  Even though this year is a complete beat-down. lol

As for me..... wow, I don't know where to begin.  Every second I have to myself seems like a treasure- I love having my own life and my own time.  I no longer feel lonely when I am stuck at home alone.  In fact, it's more welcome than ever, even when I was unhappy and my alone time was a solace to me.  My personal life is a bit strange.  I know now how married to my job I am, and it's as big a struggle as it has always been.  But things are certainly different this year.  Better.  Like way better.  Even though I feel like I'm watching something (my school) be dissected and sewn randomly back together, and am stressed beyond belief about that, I've somehow managed to leave it at school so far.  Most of the time.  Ok, some of the time.

My personal life has taken a completely different turn.  I don't want to say too much about it, but let's just say that I've had an astonishing epiphany.  I'm happy.  I'm sure I will have my ups and downs as I've always had, but I starting to see my life for what it is, and it's pretty damn good.  I don't know really what else to say besides that, but I'm finally kinda living the life of my dreams.  That sounds so insane to say that.... just a few months ago I felt like I'd never find happiness.  I felt like I'd made the worst mistake of my life.  And now, here it is October- Halloween is coming, fall is upon us with it's coziness, and I have new reasons to wake up  happy every day.

Hope everything is wonderful with you.



Bob B. said...

So happy to hear you are happy! There is hope for the rest of us then :-)

Keep up the good work & all the best going forward.

joanlvh said...

so glad to hear u r doing well. HOPEFULLY school situation will settle and improve.

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