I guess the news is that I'm doing better. I had lots of good folks writing and calling me to check in and I appreciate all the concern. It's always encouraging to see how much you're thought of. I feel very loved.
I wish that I could say everything I've been going through is a big misunderstanding but the truth is I've taken a long, hard look at myself and realized that a few too many things I thought I was doing right were in fact very wrong. It's strange when things feel like they are so right and then one day you suddenly find that no matter how right they feel, they just plain aren't. I realize also that it seems I'm talking in riddles here but you just have to go with me on this one.
It's a very humbling experience to say the least. I have been doing things a certain way for many years now and it is a big change for me to suddenly face a different direction and do things totally different. I am working through it and can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's just a very tiny light and a long, long tunnel. But a light, nonetheless.
It's also come to my attention that things I thought I got over years ago, things that I have worked through and found my footing on began to creep back up in my life. I am told that being very ill and vulnerable and weak can cause you to relapse like this. I never thought that would be possible because I spent so much time correcting these things years ago. But issues from a long time past are in my face once again, and I can only pray that this time they will be easier to conquer.
I guess that's it for now. Thanks again for all your thoughts and prayers and I promise to check in again soon.