Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.

Everytime I post a blog, I use some bumpersticker of t-shirt I've seen for the title. I think these things are funny, they make me smile, and I wonder if they'll do the same for you. You see, over the last 9 months or so, this blog has become a big part of my life. My doctor doesn't like for me to go out in public much, says to limit my exposure to people as much as possible, wear a mask when I go places like the clinic or the hospital, and avoid places where there are lots of kids. So I've become a recluse. I never thought it would happen, but I'm in my warehome, out of a 7 day-week, about 24 hours 5 of those days. I might leave to go get something to eat, and some days we go to the store, or Target, or Ikea, or Home Depot. If we go somewhere and I've got to be on my feet for more than twenty minutes, we have to go somewhere that has a wheelchair. I'll probably eventually get a wheelchair so this doesn't become a hassle. But this is my life. I paint almost everyday. Somedays I paint a couple of pictures. I don't watch tv. I don't talk on the phone much. I walk my dog outside twice a day, and sometimes take pictures of things in my neighborhood. Sometimes I walk to the store and window shop by myself. Most days I work on the house and don't leave until it's almost dark. I have become a level 5 recluse.

What does this mean to you? I don't know. What I want it to mean is this: understanding. I have a wonderful life. There's nothing about this life I would change. Nothing. If you wonder why my posts can be so boring, that's why. If you wonder why I talk about home improvements so much, that's why. But I'd change nothing about this year. Nothing. Just like it is, today, everyday for the last 9 months, I'm okay with. I don't want to live this way forever; I want to go out and get a job and have a normal life again. But as of today, I'm okay. I'm perfectly content with what I have to do to get better, and I don't think anyone should feel sorry for me or anyone in this situation. It is what you make it, and I feel like I'm doing as much with it as I can. I'm totally valuing this year for what it is and what it has taught me.

I don't know where that all came from, but I wanted you all to know. I am truly blessed in my life, and a huge part of that is all my friends, all of you, that are with me everytime I blog.

How completely cheesy I am.

-L

I used to care, but now I take a pill for that. -bumper sticker

Let me tell you what they don't tell you about chemo: it makes your teeth yellow. Yellow. And you're not allowed to bleach them. And the anemia is a bitch. There, I said it. The damn anemia will make you bonkers because you can't do anything without feeling completely exhausted. Damn that anemia. And the headaches, the joint aches (no, not that), the compromised immune system (which means I get things like styes- eww), the muscle cramps no matter how you lay, the weight gain (yeah, everyone thinks you lose weight on chemo, but you don't. I haven't met anyone who didn't gain weight. Wierd, huh?), the constant teeth and gum aches, the scar pain that I don't enjoy (especially on the old kooter), the low temp, the incontinence (yes, I piss my pants, ok?), complete lack of sex drive, and then, to top it off, is insomnia. Luckily, Tylenol is a wonderdrug. And I'm not even kidding about that.
A little b**ch session there- sorry. I haven't had one in a while. Yes, I piss my p ants, ok? Are we back to that already?
So, besides that, Bobby's show went really great and he's working on getting all the pics up on his website. I got shnockered for the first time in a really long while and the 3 day hangover was completely worth it. The room, the room, the room is done. Completely done, complete with shelves for my books and all my crazy nick-nacks. Hopefully Bobby will get a slideshow up so everyone can see. That could be a few days, but it'll happen. But I love LOVE my room. It's very Zen and harmonious. So go rake some sand and come back later to check it out.

So, May is Melanoma Awareness Month, and we're gonna have some good stuff going on. Mandy is coming in from San Diego and we're going to stage an awareness picket outside of some national tanning bed place. Hopefully, we'll get on the news and get some publicity. Mandy's gonna dress in a chicken suit just for grins, and Bobby has a dinosaur outfit he said he'd wear. A wise man once said if you start out with a man in a costume, you're there. You gotta mess up pretty bad to not be funny. Whoo. Good times, and I can't wait.

We're working on a script for a PSA for May, and we need people who know the info on how to get them on the radio and/or TV and we also need people who can do impersonations. Even bad ones. Our current script is a conversation between two famous actors... but we'll take what we can get. I know there's a lot of you that read this blog, I check the numbers, people. I know you're there. I need help on this. And those of you that comment, make my day. So if you have any info, I'd appreciate even just a line or two of advice. Come on, you lurkers... make a cancer patient's day.

In big news, I've been contacted by the president of the Schlip foundation (www.theschlip.com) which was founded by Jean Schlippman 3 days after her husband's death from melanoma, on his 45th birthday. I love this lady, I love what she's doing, and she wants to work together to promote melanoma awareness. Exciting stuff! I'm amped. Be sure to check out her site, fools.

Besides that, I got nothin', folks. The big SD trip is coming up and I can't freakin wait.

Hope all is well with y'all. Don't forget to comment just this once.

-L

There are two ways to live your life: one is to live as though nothing 

is a miracle, the other is to live as though everything is.

-Albert Einstein

In case I Haven't Shamelessly Promoted Enough...

So, in the strange case that I haven't sent you one of my many bulk emails about this event, I'm putting it up here, too.
This is Bobby (my Bobby's) first photo showing, and I'm so proud. So, if you're in Dallas, or you're going to be in Dallas, or if you know someone in Dallas, please read the flyer and feel free to pass it on.
The coolest thing is, he's not only talented, he's also a sweetheart, as he's agreed to donate part of what he makes to the Melanoma Research Foundation. Looks and a good heart. How much luckier could I be?

-L











Bobby Friske has enjoyed an unusually broad and diversified background in the creative arts. He grew up in Lubbock, Texas, a “Musical Crossroads,” where he was surrounded by not only production and music entertainment, but also a rich musical history, and he found his first creative outlet. By six he was playing guitar, playing violin by age seven, and playing a piano and keyboards just a year after that. This outlet led Bobby to South Plains College to pursue a degree in Sound Production and a minor in Video Production. It was in college that Bobby met Robert Romano and joined his band, Stranger Than Fiction. They played for more than ten years together, saw some lucrative success in Texas, and afforded Bobby the experience to perform at a variety of venues. His love for music still endures, and his interest in music ranges from classical to alternative.

While doing corporate audio/video work, Bobby’s long-time interest in movies led him to try his hand at film. He wrote several screenplays, and in 2001-2002 Bobby directed and edited three short films.

Bobby began his interest in photography during his stint with short films. He spends much of his time outside of work as a graphics designer developing this creative talent, focusing on many objects which are industrial, but somehow evoke an emotion, usually from nostalgic memories. He always enjoys shooting unique, sometimes abstract, objects, especially architectural structures, lights, signs, and on occasion, even people. Each photo is a unique, one of a kind work of art.

Artist’s Statement

All around us are simple objects. We pass them on the street everyday- signs, lights, towers, play structures, trees- and yet in the midst of our busy lives, we do not pause to focus on them. But when Bobby captures them on film, they become some sort of archetype, an image that evokes an emotion or a sense of reminiscence, and we realize our connection to the inanimate. Often, these photos unlock the nostalgia of a place lived or a different time in life. Bobby concentrates on these images rather than people because he chooses not to objectify the human form, because he feels portraits often objectify without revealing the same nostalgia. This collection is entitled “pause,” and spans from 2001 to present, shot in areas from Dallas to Lubbock to New York City.



For more information on Bobby’s show along with 2 other artists for the evening;
check http://pigeonstoneproject.com.

P.S. If you can't make the show, you can write me and I can tell you where it's going to be after this. Thanks for all your support!

What be yee favorite roast beef sandwich establishment?

So, Valentine's day has passed. Bobby's birthday came and went. And basically, now I'm ready for one of my favorite holidays: St. Patrick's Day. I can't believe it's already been a year of living here in Texas. I dreaded moving back here, but at the time, I thought it was the smartest thing to do. And it was. There were times in the last year that I had questioned that decision, but now, looking back, I'm so glad I made it. It's wierd to me how things go. In San Diego, I worked so hard to try to get a better job, to make more money, to find roommates that I loved, to find someone that I clicked with and was good to me. Here, in this state I've never been too fond of, everything has fallen into place. But I miss my friends in San Diego still. If they were here, life would be perfect. But it's pretty damn close.
It's wierd how cancer has changed things. Today, I baked Bobby his birthday cake, even though his birthday was last Monday. But I was so tired and out of it, I didn't get around to it until today. It was good though, and he understoood, didn't even say a word. And who cares, really? There was a time in my life I would've freaked out about not having everything perfect for a certain day. But now, life is so much simpler, and I'm happier. Is that crazy? I'm actually happier now that I have cancer than I was when I was healthy. The details don't freak me out like they used to, and I've learned not to be so results-driven, so over-achieving, so crazy about everything being perfect. I make it a point to really relish what's going on in my day, whether it's just emailing friends or painting or walking the dog or even cleaning. I really love my life. Even gifts are different now. I used to make the biggest deal about having the perfect gift for a person on holidays like Valentines day. Now, I just want to spend time with them. That's what means more to me than anything. And if I do want to give them something, I've started making gifts for them. I ask the same from them- if you want to give me a present, give me something you took the time to put together yourself. Give me a piece of you that I'll always treasure. Those are the gifts that I treasure now, now that I've scaled down and gotten rid of tons of junk. Just think about it, the next time your buying gifts. You'd be surprised how much something like that means to someone.
Speaking of, and I know how gay this is, but I love my dog. Hennessee has been a lifesaver through this whole thing, and she is so attentive and sweet when I'm sick, it's not even funny. She also gives me a reason to walk around outside every day, and I honestly don't know if I'd take walks everyday if it wasn't for her. The sunshine does us both good, too, and I know it helps me make it through the dullest days.
The nineth of this month marked the halfway point for my chemo treatment. That means just six months left, people. I'm half way through! I can't believe it's true, but I'm so thankful. I'm already searching for jobs and getting my resume together for applications for the next school year. Some teachers I know in the area have been helping me put it all together, and I can't tell you how excited I am at the prospect of working with kids again. The thought is too exciting for words, and just being able to go back to work and be around people again is motivating in and of itself.
Not that these 6 months have been a complete waste. I"ve worked on myself a lot in this time, I've dedicated time to things I've never done before. I've learned to draw and paint,
done a lot of writing, worked on this webpage, promoted the cause, made videos, and learned a lot about life. It's crazy to say, but in so many ways having cancer has opened my eyes. It's made my life better and it's made the important things so much clearer.
Well, enough of my rants. I think that'll do it for now. I just wanted to put all of these random thoughts out there. Thanks for reading them, though.

Peace and love,
-L

Aliens are coming. They're killing the skinny blondes first. (Not you, Mangie.)

There is nothing, I mean nothing, like getting your hair done to up a mood. Nothing. When I feel like I have no control of anything, I can at least go and do something with my hair. Granted, when Kinome (the best hairdresser in Dallas, I swear) (check out her blog at http://sweethair.blogspot.com) brushed thru it, it started breaking off everywhere. But she worked with what she had, and cut some of the length off, and now it looks killer. You should've seen her face when I told her what I wanted- platinum up top with black in the back. She explained what I really needed to do (a very decent compromise, in my opinion), and three short hours later- voila! Killer hair. I went from Dikey to Terri Nunn in 3 short hours.
Not much besides that going on. All Bobby and I have left on the room is touch-up paint and a bookshelf. We're hanging pictures up soon, so the walls are bare, but here's a sneak peak. Hope you enjoy!
Once again, Miss Melanoma Artwork- and a new look- are coming to Miss Melanoma.com, so don't forget to keep checking in. Also, the store is being updated, so feel free to check that out and pass it on. Besos!

-L