Saturday, March 25, 2006

Ask me about my meth lab

Here's a question for you: what do mathematics and constipation have in common? You can work them both out with a pencil. Okay, it's not really funny, but how many jokes about poop are? Exactly. So it's Friday night and I was too whipped to do anything fun tonight. The third chemo treatment in the week always wipes me out, and I spent most of the day laying down. Melanoma could be one of those resorts that force you to spend 19 hours a day in bed. I should start a nail salon specifically for cancer patients who border on comatose like me for days like these. At least that way my toes (all 9 of them) would look good while I drool on myself.
Oh well, might as well make the best of it. When else in my life will I be able to say I was sedated for a full year? It's funny, I wonder what people on chemo did before the internet. I'd be going stir-crazy without it. There's a certain joy in internet porn.
So the PET Scan came back all clear, and I haven't heard from the CAT scan doctor so I'm assuming all is good there. Nothing like good news and knowing I don't have to get another scan for 3 more months. Ah, the life of a cancer patient. No news is good news, though, and if constipation is my biggest worry, I'll take it. I guess the worst part of the treatment now is all the drugs I'm pumping into my body. It's true, though, that Oncologists do give out the best candy. :)
Checked out today; it's a great little site for young adults diagnosed with cancer. Lots of smartass comments about the old C word and plenty of sarcasm to go around. I enjoyed it thoroughly.
Lots of good stuff is coming up: I'm trying to get some of my art up on the ol homepage. Hoping I"ll be feeling good enough to go to Gilda's on Tuesday, and I'm planning a trip to San Diego next month, so if you need souvenirs, now's the
time to put in your request. I'm personally looking forward to getting my own bobble-head chiuahua. You know you're jealous.
On a final and oddly serious note, I'd like to encourage everyone to visit the Lance Armstrong Foundation page or check with your local representative: cancer research funding may be cut for the first time in a decade, cut back to levels that will slow any additional progress so essential to cancer cures and cancer survivorship. I know this is a little Erin Brockavich-ish, but drastic budget cuts to cancer research are happening, and will continue to happen, if no one speaks up. You have to realize that cancerous diseases like melanoma have increased more than 100 percent in the last few decades, and we need to speak up to government to emphasize the priorities of our health. If this is an important issue to you, please contact your congressional representative at the United States House of Representatives, and urge them to stop any additional budget cuts for cancer research. This year 1.3 million Americans will be diagnosed with cancer.
Okay, so I'm off my soapbox. Now surf on over to your house of reps page and then you can get back to your Mystery Science Theater reruns.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Although bobble-head chiuahuas are quite nice, I suggest picking up some velvet art. You know, a velvet Elvis or a velvet Jesus. I can't say enough about the classiness that is velvet art - adds a special flair to any room in your home!



I'm Too Young For This!