Well, it's a new week, and the good news is that it seems like the site is getting a little more play, and more play is better for just about anybody, I say. Those of you helping to keep my site numbers up are highly appreciated, and it seems to be paying off. Here's props to my peeps.
Word to your mamas.
On the health front, unpredictable stuff again and that means another chance to piss and moan. I'm trying, now that I only have 2 months left (I know, WTF, right?), to start a new habit of journaling when I'm feeling like this. It's been a rough day today, odd following a pretty good week: a lot of nausea, a little fever, chestpains, shakiness, general malaise. Not so bad I can't get out of bed, so that's good. Not so bad I have to take a pain pill, so that's good, too.
Weird thing is, I was in the car today, letting my thoughts race, and I kept thinking about how, even after a year of this, it still seems so unreal. I still, to this day, sometimes question if I'm really sick. Do I really have cancer? Is it as bad and as serious as they say? Will I have to take chemo? Maybe it's the low numbers, but I've been on chemo for 10 months now. 10 months and sometimes I just wonder if I'm faking it. Am I sick? If it weren't for the chemo, I don't even think I'd feel sick. So unreal. And yet, this is the strangeness of cancer. The strangeness of being young and feeling so bizarre being ill. I guess in some circles it could be called denial. I guess, but it's way too in my face to be that anymore. Seems so weird that after all this time I still can't control so much. Anyway.
Geez, I bet y'all get tired of hearing me whine. Speaking of wine...
So, I got an email a few days ago from a guy named Peter with his own blog called the Interferon experience at interferonexp.blogspot.com. I want to encourage all of you to check it out, support a fellow survivor and blogger, as I think he could use some cheery words these days. Interferon can be quite a nasty old lady, and a few kind sentiments never hurt anybody.
On the upside, Bob Marley sang to me today, I got free pancakes, Bear's back home, and my family is healthy and well, so I can't really ask for too much more. Things could be alot worse, and I'm just gonna keep that in mind. Hope all of you are well, too.