Like seriously.

So here's a new thing I'm doing. I downloaded this awesome bomb countdown thingy (that I also use in my classroom- the kids dig it hardcore), and I make myself write. I make myself write and I can not stop writing until the bomb explodes and the alarm sounds.

Sounds not so bad, right? Especially since I only set it for 15 or 20 minutes at a time. (?) But, here's the thing which I did not realize until I heard Jon Kabat-Zinn (thanks Candi, for the heads up on those podcasts, btw) say it the other day, and that is that writing - or rather stringing words together in a manner that is meaningful to other people and yourself- is a sincere form of meditation. And since this is the form I've been practicing for some 20 years now, this is a good way for me to force myself to bring my thoughts to the surface.

I have a quote on my wall that says "In my world, nothing ever goes wrong." I have that quote there not because I understand it or because it defines the way I look at things, but because I strive daily to think that way. I strive to believe that every day up until this one was perfect in that it brought me to this very moment, which is exactly where I need to be. That everything that has come into my life has had something really important and really wonderful to teach me, and that, therefore, there have been no mistakes.

That's so hard. Like seriously hard. No mistakes? Like none at all? What about that Beatles haircut I had that one time. Or those skinny jeans. That night in Tijuana. Or the bad boy boyfriend. Actually, all 9 of the bad boy boyfriends.

On one hand, yes, I can see that's it true- there are no mistakes. Because if I hadn't done all those goofy things I did, then I may not be here, where I am today. And it feels pretty obvious to me that this IS where I'm supposed to be, even though it's not permanent. But then I think about all these great people around me that I've just now figured out that I keep at arm's length because... because.... because why? Because I don't want to see new friends hurt the way old friends did when we thought I was going to die? Because I lost so many friends during this whole journey through cancer and I don't think I could take that again? Because of those people that couldn't accept me for who or where I was?

And what does that mean anyway, "when we all thought I was going to die." I mean, hello, I'm still going to die. And I hate to tell you this, dollface, but you are, too. Relatively speaking, we're all going to do it (no, not that, I mean we're all going to die) pretty soon. You know, like within the next hundred years. So why, after we get the all clear/no melanoma news do we pretend that death was never really there?

I remember after my brief stint in the hospital last year that as I was coming to terms with everything I was really weepy. And I wonder if I'm just allowing myself to just heal a bit here. Maybe that's why I've been so emotional- because I'm letting another layer dissipate. Because I'm opening up a little more. It has to be. Or hopefully, because here's something scary- I cried today during Project Runway. Project Runway people. Is that even possible? Like seriously.

The good news is I do see myself recently being much more real about how I feel and allowing myself to move through these things. Being honest about my emotions instead thinking I always have to be so tough or deal with them privately. That was more about me not wanting others to feel uncomfortable than about just being honest. And so now I feel like I'm moving forward. Moving through the pain of the past, moving through the pain of my "mistakes." Moving through the fear. Moving through the impermanence.
But in a really good way. In a way that cancer patients seem to understand. In a way that we all should and can understand, but maybe just lie to ourselves about because the thought of not being in control of it all is so harrowing.

Lori Hope, who I simply love, had an excerpt on her blog from Kairol Rosenthal's upcoming book, "Everything Changes: Living with Cancer in Your 20s and 30s” that I was just so blown away by. I am going to run out and snag up this book the moment it hits the shelves. Here's an abridged version of some of what she had to say: "In the midst of my cancer, I found myself surrounded by peers who had the luxury of not facing illness and death each morning when they looked in the mirror. Some have placed my proximity to death on a pedestal, as though I am a beacon who, at a young age, is bestowed the honor of looking the scary beast of death straight in the face. I want people who live free of cancer to know that everyone has the choice to become deeply familiar with their own mortality. Most young adults can’t imagine death as clearly or as vividly when they are healthy. . . It is your responsibility none the less... Young adults living with cancer are not, and never chose to be, the death and dying ambassadors from our generation... We are all dying. Once you face this sharp and weighty reality, you will be able to sit beside your young friends who have cancer with less fear... less nervousness... erase the boundary that divides us and them, the sick and the well... From this place, you can provide the very simple comfort of compassion that people living with cancer desperately want.”
Amazingly written. Have you been to that place where you look death in the face and realize for the first time that you are so much bigger than it, that you are so much more expansive and beautiful than it? So much so that none of us should ever really consider that, death, an ending? From that place you not only look your poor friend in the eye and supply some support, but you can provide your own comfort, too. You can do as Lao Tzu, that smart bastard, said- you can know at the center of your being all that you are.

And so I pray I'm there. Or at least one step closer to being in that place than I was yesterday. Even if it's a tiny little step, it's something I'm thrilled to be millimeters closer to.

And if I am, I'm going to actually open up and allow myself these new friendships.
That's right, I said it. I'm allowing new, genuine, deep, frightening close, painful, beautiful friendships with the good people that surround me. Good people that don't want me to be anything except myself. And whether it hurts or not, I am forcing myself to relish the moments within those friendships for as long as I'm granted them.

Thanks to each of you who read this and allow me to be your friend.

Aww. Hold me.

-MM

Washington Post Article on Melanoma

Special thanks to Eric Lingenfelder and Easterlygal who sent me this link a couple of weeks ago in the midst of all the Vans hubbub. Great article in the Washington Post titled Melanoma Rates Increase Among Younger Women.

The battle continues. But we'll be like Ghandi and be all zen about the battle so as to promote peace without melanoma.

-MM

Too Faced Review by Carver

In case you haven't seen, Carver has reported on her blog about the the free make-up she received from the raffle here on Ms. Melanoma. Check it out, there's good pics at the haul!

And not to worry, I've got another superfly give-away coming up again by way of my good friend Katherine who is getting us the hook-up. Remember, to get entered into the raffle, all you have to do is comment and mention that you'd like your name entered. It's that easy!

Bobby and I are on a quasi-vacay, but I have to tell you about my latest realization. Crazy!

-MM

Cancer Made Me a Shallower Person

I was reading on "My Crazy Sexy Life" just yesterday and found an entry by a woman discussing her cancer journey. She said that she had noticed an emotional cycle that she follows, where she is good with her diagnosis/NED status for a while, then she's anxious, then mad again, then depressed, then feels good for a while again, etc. It's good to read other stories like this, because I know for even the most seasoned survivor, the thought of all there is to deal with continually, while trying to lead a "normal life" can be so daunting. The scans and the waiting for results, for me, are especially killer.
But then I was listening to Elizabeth Lesser on the radio yesterday, and she made an interesting point. She said that we have to think about life as if it is a river, and we can fight it the whole way, trying to get upstream against the current, insisting that things go our way, living in a constant state of struggle. Or we can succumb to the river, let go, float, enjoy the ride, and accept where we are being taken. It is all a choice.
It's so easy to say that- so easy to say let go, let go of all the plans you made and all the dreams you had about what your life would be.
But when the time comes to fight, to do the awful treatment and have the surgery and spend so much time in recovery- when it comes time to make the choice to continue living no matter the cost- it isn't the picture we had created of our life that we are fighting for. What we are fighting for more days here, regardless of our plans, regardless of whether they are days spent floating somewhere we never planned on going or struggling against the current. And that's the thing that those cancer patients you talk to( -you know, the ones with that light behind their eyes-) seem to have gotten during their journey. That any day here is worth the fight.
It's noble and beautiful to come out of the situation with that new view. That every breath is worth a prayer of a thousand thanks.

But how did they get there? To the point where they are really the person that is okay with letting the river take them wherever it is going? Well, according to Elizabeth Lesser, it's really not so hard to be that person, whether we have had a cancer experience or not. And this is what she said that really blew me away: she said that in order to love your life no matter what, that every single day, you have to sit still. And in sitting still, we will be faced with all kinds of things: our disappointments, and anger, or fear, sadness, guilt, or even physical pain. As all these emotions and feelings arise, she said, you take note of them objectively and without any judgment.
That's it.
That's the key to unconditional happiness.

Because, just like sneaky Mr. Miyagi using chores and car washes to teach Ralph Macchio the art of perseverance, sitting in the midst of our reality and our pain little by little teaches us that we can survive anything and still be happy in the midst of it. When we allow what is to be, then, like you are in the river, you will float along and move through it.
Crazy.
Why is it when we admit our pain that we move through it so much faster? Because reality pushes on with or without us, whether we live in denial or not? Because struggling against the current is exhausting? Because acceptance saves us thousands of minutes of grief? Because time itself is the thief?

I guess the real answer is who cares why? It just does. The river will take us exactly where we need to go. There are no accidents.
Even if we fight it, we are still being pushed to the exact place we are supposed to be the whole time.

And if it's as easy as Mrs. Lesser is telling us, if I can love my life no matter how badly it can hurt, well, I'm sitting still every day.
And I'm making it a point to float on my back from here on out.

-MM

Bug Spray, Sunscreen May Not Be a Good Mix

Thanks to my friend Linda who passed this onto me. This is good summertime vacation information!

Sunscreen May Speed Absorption of DEET Through Skin

-MM

The Coolest Thing

So I get an email last week from a melanoma survivor named Paige Wood. The very lovely and talented Paige is a musician and is touring with the Vans Warped Tour and is working with FM World Charities towards awareness of the dangers of sun exposure (you gots to check her out on YouTube, yo). And in case you don't remember, Paige was interviewed in the Current.com "Scared of Skin Cancer" vid I posted on June 11th.
So Paige invited Katherine and I to come see her show and to check out the free skin cancer screenings they were doing. And as you know, I am ALL about the promoting of the awareness and any live music show. So this was a big treat for me.
Kat Von Bates (who did the awesome Paula's Choice Interview below), always representing Too Faced and all their good efforts to help promote all things melanoma-research related, and I both agreed that this was one of the most inspirational things we've seen in a long time as far as skin cancer awareness goes. I've got to send out big ups to not only the Vans Tour and Paige, but FM World Charities and the Mole Mate Screening Technology being used at the booths.
Let me give you a little glimpse of what was going on.
First of all, if you don't know what a huge deal this is, let me just say that Vans Warped Tour has about 30,000 people visit the event every day. Think Lollapalooza (as a wise man once said). So a skin screening booth here is maximum exposure. KVB and I spoke for a while with Eric Gast (who had a very Rick Rubin vibe to him), the founder and board chairman of FM World Charities, and he had awesome things to say about using positive media to reach people instead of scary and negative images. I had no idea about this charity, but upon closer investigation, I found that this not-for-profit organization is devoted to promoting public health in a lot of ways. What I really loved about their skin cancer screenings was that FM World Charities had the idea to help screen for common illnesses, like melanoma, during concerts and other public events so that people become aware of the danger before it becomes life threatening. According to their website, "This will be useful in two ways. It will not only increase the number of individuals being screened for these conditions but, given the age of the people usually attending these events, introduce the idea of preventative health care to a young audience. For example, the incidence of skin cancers is increasing rapidly throughout the world. A small lesion that develops when a person is 20 years of age will often be ignored for years before it becomes symptomatic and life threatening. Early diagnosis and treatment is the key to avoiding these problems."
Is anyone else in love?
I just had a moment.
Plus, think about it: Melanoma has become the most common cancer in women between the ages of 25 and 29, so exposing young people to the idea of skin screenings is vitally important!
Also, I gotta say that his whole idea with using Mole Mate was to draw people in with curiosity toward the technology and process instead of fear. That's the "positive media" thing he's talking about. And the amazing part is it really works! If you don't believe me, just check out the pics taken there. These are not necessarily your typical "I'll get this mole checked out at my regular dermatologist appointment" peeps. These are everyday people, music fans and skater kids, dropping by the tent to see what's up. And that rocked my world.
So just to give you a taste of what Mole Mate technology does, here is some more info. The registration process was quick and easy with only 4 or 5 questions to get you started, as illustrated by the pic of me with my new pink hair and sweat spot on my back (it was 95 degrees out, throw me a bone here.) And the next step is just as easy- See that wand thingy pointing the guy is pointing on Kat's face? That is essentially the whole process of Mole Mate: it "is a non-invasive, rapid, and painless melanoma screening device that has been specifically designed with and for General Practitioners and skin specialists. By assisting and accelerating the diagnostic process, Mole Mate™ enables the medical professional to quickly scan and make a decision to refer a patient, excise a lesion or immediately assure them that their lesion is not suspicious." Right on the spot! How, you say, is this possible? Well, allow me to fill you in. That little wand thing takes not only an external photo of a suspicious mole, but gives a magnified dermatoscopic view of it, like so:which the doc can then look at and determine it's danger level. How friggin cool is that.

Speaking of rocking my world, Paige put on a hell of a show. Avril's got nothing on this chic. (Sorry Avril, I've seen you live. It's true.) I mean seriously. Plus she's got her heart in the game and is all about promoting the cause. Not only is she a survivor, but she lost her best friend to melanoma a few years ago, and it runs in her family, so she knows what's up. While we were chatting her up on the nice cool tour bus (where, gratefully, she let us chill for a while), one of the volunteers outside, Katie, a friend of Paige's, brought in a 16 year old that had recently been diagnosed at stage I. She had gone to get checked out after her dad had a lesion removed and sure enough, they found a suspicious mole. Paige took the time to talk with this girl and get to know her, and I was hella impressed. This is what it's all about people, putting the word out there and letting others know they're not alone and to keep up the good fight. Geez, I'm getting misty.

So big ups to everyone I contacted that pitched in for free products to everyone stopping by the free skin cancer screenings (including Neutrogena, Too Faced, Paula's Choice, Imerman Angels, I2y.org, Spot a spot and Paul Mitchell Salons and of course the amazing Skincancer.org and the amazing Melanoma International Foundation), and huge props to Katherine, Paige, FM World Charities, Vans, Mole Mate, Eric Gast, and all the volunteers who pitched in to help make this initiative possible. Party on, Wayne. Party on Garth.

-MM

Interview with a Cosmetic Goddess!!!

Well kids, exciting news! Today Miss Melanoma has a special guest: Paula Begoun, author of numerous books such as "Don't Go to the Cosmetics Counter Without Me." She also runs a cosmetic company called Paula's Choice and BeautyPedia.com.

There's tons of good reviews out there for Paula, and one of the best things I can say about her is that her business is one of the only cosmetics companies out there that recommends products other than her own, even on her own home page. I mean, who does that?!?! That's gutsy, and speaks a lot of her and her company. She also does a great monthly "Best and Worst" Picks which I personally love. (Here's this month's, btw.)

So if you haven't heard of her (I'm talking to you there, living under that rock), now's your chance to get the scoop. My great friend Katherine, who is also a melanoma survivor and my personal consultant when it comes to make-up and skin care products, did an interview with Paula. (How cool is that?) Kat is also the one who introduced me to Too Faced (so you KNOW she's fabulous) and got me hooked on Paula's reviews. And today we have the incredible opportunity to get Katherine's interview with the amazing Paula Begoun here! Enjoy! (You can thank me later...)
------------------------------------------
K: As a makeup artist and fellow melanoma survivor, I've been reading your books and using Beautypedia.com as a resource for many years now. In your opinion, how do we get more people to use sunscreen?

PB: This is tricky because lots of people love the sun and getting tan. It is hard to discourage something that feels and looks so good. What many organizations and people like me have been doing is just reminding people what is in store for them if they aren't sun smart. That is all you can do, just like it is for cigarettes.

What do you think about the nano technology use with sunscreens?

The only two sunscreen ingredients this effects is titanium dioxide and zinc oxide because these are the only two sunscreen actives that have been broken down into nano particles. There is no benefit of nano technology as far as effectiveness is concerned, these excellent sunscreen actives are effective in either form. In terms of safety, this is a very complicated question because the risk associated with nano technology is theoretical and the benefits are also theoretical so everyone is just guessing. I tend to err on the side of taking little to no risk especially if there is no benefit.

You list many sunscreens as great in your www.beautypedia.com, can you name 5 good ones for our bloggers that give broad spectrum coverage?

There are many! Here is a range:
-Estee Lauder Day Wear Plus Multi Protection Anti-Oxidant Lotion SPF 15, for Oily Skin ($38 for 1.7 ounces)
- Good Skin All Right Oil-Free Sunscreen SPF 30 ($12 for 1.7 ounces; available exclusively at Kohls)
-Neutrogena Age Shield Sunblock SPF 45 ($9.99 for 4 ounces)
-Almay Sun Protector for Body SPF 30 ($8.99 for 4.2 ounces)
-Bull Frog Sunblock Lotion, Superblock SPF 45 ($8.99 for 5 ounces)
-Vanicream Sunscreen, Sensitive Skin, SPF 30 ($14.95 for 4 ounces)
But there are many, many more than these!

How much sunscreen should a person use for their whole body for true SPF protection?

There are "measuring" rations you can use, but that is far too complicated for most anyone to deal with. Rather, what people need to remember is to apply sunscreen before they go outdoors during the day and to apply it LIBERALLY! That it is crucial to apply it generously, which is why expensive sunscreens can be dangerous (because it can discourage people from liberal application.)

There has been discussions within the medical community to changing the way sunscreen are rated, do you have any comments on that?

That’s because the SPF number is only about UVB protection, there is no rating yet for UVA and the UVA rays are more damaging than the UVB rays.

Overseas there are more options regarding sunscreens than we have in the USA, why is that?

The only difference between sunscreens overseas is they have use of two additional UVA protecting ingredients than we do which are Tinosorb and Mexoryl SX (also know as ecamsule which is available here in a few L’Oreal and Lancome products). This is a regulatory issue involving how our FDA approves sunscreen active ingredients which is more stringent than overseas.

I know that you and some scientists feel that a good mixture of antioxidents help fight free radicals which can cause damage to the the skin. Do you think a combination of sunscreen chemicals and antioxidents would be good?

Absolutely!!! They just tend to be more expensive. What is most important is using sunscreen- the antioxidants just add benefits, they aren’t crucial.

According to the Tanning Bed Association, Tanning beds are a safe, effective way of getting vitamin D, how do feel about their advertising to teens and young adults?

That is like suggesting smoking cigarettes are a good way to relax or relieve stress. Further, it is UVB rays from the sun that trigger vitamin D production. Tanning beds typically emit 95% UVA and 5% UVB so it isn’t an effective source in the least. There are far healthier and more effective ways to get vitamin D then something that has a good deal of research showing it increases your cancer risk (minimal sun exposure—sunscreen does not block vitamin D or via supplements).

Thank you so much! I'm a huge fan of yours and love your makeup line and you are always so informative.

I'm also interested in finding out what you think about the FDA trial drug Dimercine, Dr. Yaroush and AGI Dermatics. I just read his book, and I thought it was interesting. He didn't always agree with some of the other books I read or even my own dermatologist, Associate Professor of UT Southwestern school of Medicine, Dr. Farhad Niroomand, but I still thought it was interesting from a cosmetic chemist point of view about sunscreens and DNA repair. I would love to interview him also!

Dimercine is Dr. Yaroush’s ingredient so his opinion is, at best, biased. The research about Dimercine is, at best, limited and there are other ingredients that potentially have this function so Dimercine is hardly the only one, but Yaroush would have you believe his is a miracle (but then you can get a lot more investors, media attention, and consumer interest if say you are selling a miracle then just one of many ingredients with only potential functionality).

-Katherine Bates

---------------------------------

Other articles:

Kat found these 2 of real interest-

* A story by CNN Study: Some Sunscreens overpromise on Protection

* What's the Story? Health Claims Against Cosmetics How Do They Look in the Light?

* And here's a story on Paula that I really liked: Paula Begoun: A Consumer Advocate

And the winner is....

Carver, come on down! You're the winner of my Too Faced make-up raffle! What a well-deserving winner.

And for everyone else, thank you for reading my blog and writing in to be in the raffle. I'll be in contact with Too Faced and see if we can get some more free samples out there. And we'll have to get a review from Carver on what she thinks about the product.

-MM

Neutrogena Rockin It Awareness Style

I got a great email from the good peeps down at Neutrogena today asking me to help pass on the information about this PSA.
I have to tell you that it doesn't surprise me that Neutrogena is the number one derma recommended skincare brand because they're always coming out with new skin protectection technology. I personally use their Fresh Cooling Body Mist Sunblock, not only because it's a big seven-oh, that's right- SPF 70 baby- but also because it really does leave a cool tingly feeling on your skin. That's important for days like today when it's already 95 and Bear is needing that afternoon walk. And, since it's a spray, I can do my own back and shoulders when I need to. I LOVE that. I keep in in my purse so I have it whenever I need to apply.

And Neutrogena's not just a pretty face, either. Their Partnership for Skin Health is out there getting the message out about skin exams, too. Kudos to them. Give their YouTube vid a hit and pass on the message every chance you get.

Hilarious!

Bobby was randomly Google-ing melanoma and found this conversation on a tanning website about- of all things- ME. Hysterically hilarious, we laughed forever. And I haven't even cracked open the box of wine yet.

http://www.tantoday.com/forums/salon-discussion/24149-miss-melanoma-new-spokeswoman-fun-side-cancer.html

The very best part is the comment by the moderator at the very bottom. Feel free to add your own comment!

Nine Ways to Find Peace of Mind

1. Start a blog and meet the most amazing people on earth.
2. Try to listen to what they say and internalize it.

The other 7 are hopefully coming soon.

Afraid to Love

I'm going to stop posting, and now the writing comes so simple. Or rather the coming here seems easier, the emotion behind it simpler. Anyway.
Listening to a lot of Ben Folds and Elliot Smith these days, which I can't figure out is good or bad. But the afraid to love theme is always coming up nonetheless.

Writer's block. Or Rider's block. Whatever.

Here is your bi-weekly harassment post.

1. I am in contact with the Too Faced people to get the winner's free sample. It's a Love Lisa Beauty Box and it's worth $32.5o. Quite a cute kit, I've been using one and I LOVE it! Very glamorous colors and it's the softest powder I've ever felt. So as soon as I know hear from Too Faced, I'll put all the names in a hat and have the Boob draw one out. Fair and square! If you want in you still have time. Just email me or post a comment about it and you're in the hat!

2. I may be taking a short leave of absence, like 2 or 3 weeks, from the blog. I must say that when I come here to write lately I have found that I am at a loss for words. I think I'm dealing with something, but can't really go into it here. Let's just say that something is there. And when I say dealing, I don't even mean I'm sad, I'm just really wrapped up in this other thing, so my head isn't here. I figure if my head isn't here, my body doesn't have to hang out and look at the screen. So there's that.
3. Did you hear about the guy with the stage IV melanoma that was cured, using his own cells? Pretty cool- check it.

Dat about do it. I appreciate all of you who have been emailing me and commenting to check on me. It means a lot.

Love ya.

-MM

Oh Hai Haz U Herded of LOL Catz?

The rage is sweeping the nation- have you heard of it? They are LOL cats, and the Bobmeister turned me onto them a while back. I'm amazed when I meet an LOL cat virgin, but it's such a joy to be the one to introduce these little jewels to people.
Whenever something completely bums me out and I cannot seem to pull myself out of the funk, all I have to do is go to icanhascheezburger.com and the world is right again. I have yet to visit this site without breaking into fits of laughing out loud belly laughs. One thing you should know if you're unfamiliar with the site- the captions of the pictures are all written by actual cats (or other animals), hence the bad grammar, phonetic nature of the words and misspellings. Check out a few of my favorites and then go and find your own!

As for me, I've had 1 full work week off from school, and in that time I've reconsolidated my loans, cleaned my house, cleaned my classroom, worked out every day, done my laundry, been in touch with some more melanoma awareness groups, had lunch with Bobby, had lunch with friends, and started working on next year's science curriculum. Sounds like a lot, but compared to the school year it's a welcome break. Next week I've got 8-5 training every day, but I'm going to make an effort to catch up with all my peeps b/c I don't think I've read anybody else's blog in months, much less updated my own. Anywho.

-MM

Scared of Skin Cancer Clip

Thanks to Parisa Vahdatinia for writing and letting me know about this great little clip on Current.com about the dangers of sun exposure. Skin cancer is a cancer that's largely preventable! Enjoy and pass it on!

http://current.com/items/88999331_scared_of_skin_cancer

Thanks and don't forget---

After my last lovely rant, I just wanted to say thanks so much to all of you that have commented and emailed. You ROCK my world. It's been so awesome and inspiring hearing from all of you old friends and new! I'm still taking names for the drawing, so don't forget to comment or email me and let me know you want in. Word?

You guys are great- thanks for checking in and for helping to raise awareness! You are going to totally dig this Too Faced stuff. No, seriously.

Now if I can get Nine West to donate some quality shoes that somehow help prevent UV exposure, we will be SO SET!

-MM

You're not going to effin believe this.

Dear idiot,





Let's not even go into what a spit in my face this postcard is.
I could go into the facts, but I have a feeling you're not reading this blog.

I will say hope that you are very, very young and naive. Otherwise you could be throwing a year of your life away to a horrible, painful treatment. Or you could be throwing your entire life away for --- wait for it--- a trend.
That's right.
The equivalent of dieing for a mullet.
Or a slap bracelet.
Or any number of other bad fads.

It's called spray-on, and you'll live if it's uneven.

-MM

What a sad, simple life you must lead.



And for those of you who do pride yourself on being more informed, I'll present the facts. Tell your friends! And even idiots you despise like the one above who made the postcard.

The facts:
*Skin cancer is the #1 diagnosed cancer, and the third most commonly diagnosed cancer among women 2o-39 years of age.
*More than 90% of skin cancer is caused by sun and tanning bed exposure.
*Each hour, one person dies from skin cancer.
*One in 5 people will be diagnosed with it.
*One in 41 men and one in 61 women will develop melanoma in their lifetime.
*The rate of melanoma, the deadliest form of skin cancer, has more than doubled between 1973 and 1996.
*Melanoma is more common than any non-skin cancer among people between 25 and 29 years old.
*An estimated 7,400 deaths from melanoma and 2,200 from other skin cancers were expected in 2002 and more than 7,800 died from melanoma alone.
*The death rate from melanoma for men is almost twice that of women due to late detection *Melanoma is now the fastest growing cancer in the U.S. here have been no significant advances in the medical treatment or survival rate in the last 30 years.
* One blistering sunburn in childhood or adolescence more than doubles a person's chances of developing melanoma later in life.
* Exposure to tanning beds before age 35 increases melanoma risk by 75 percent.
* On an average day, more than one million Americans use tanning salons.
* New high-pressure sunlamps emit doses of UVR that can be as much as 12 times that of the sun.

And for our finale....
*In women 25-29, melanoma is the primary cause of cancer death, and in women 30-34 it is the second most common cause of cancer death.
*In the U.S. your chance of getting melanoma in 1940 was 1 in 1500. By 2004, it was 1 in 67. By 2010, scientists predict it will be 1 in 50.
*The incidence of melanoma has increased 690 percent from 1950 to 2001, and the overall mortality rate increased 165 percent during this same period.
*If caught in the earliest stages, melanoma is entirely treatable with a survival rate of nearly 100%. If untreated and allowed to spread, there is no known treatment or cure.

Doctors don't regularly screen for melanoma and patients often find their own so go to our "Examine Your Skin" page to do yours NOW!

What to watch for: A change in size, shape or color. The features of change to watch for in moles are the A, B, C, D and E’s of detection.

Asymmetry — Two halves of a lesion that are not the same
Border — Borders of a lesion are irregular, scalloped or vague
Color — Color varies from one area to another, including shades of tan or brown as well as black, blue, red and white
Diameter — A lesion that is greater than 6 millimeters in diameter, about the size of a pencil eraser
Evolution — Lesions that change or evolve, or is ELEVATED or raised above the skin and has a rough surface

You should also watch for the following skin changes:
A mole that bleeds
A fast-growing mole
A scaly or crusted growth on the skin
A sore that won't heal
A mole that itches
A place on your skin that feels rough, like sandpaper

Let's be safe out there, people.

-MM

HCB! DYSWIS? Free stuff?!?

OMG! Have you heard of Too Faced Cosmetics? Well, if you haven't, you are just SO lucky to hear about them today. First, let me say this: any cosmetic company that develops a kit with Good Girl/Bad Girl palettes is right up my alley. They have INCREDIBLE products like Lash Injections, Eye Gems, Glamour Shadow, the Hopeless Romantic Quickie kit, and Extreme Lip Injection, that will make you poop your pants- for real- and coming from a girl who listed mascara as the #1 item she would take with her to a desert island, that is serious. But, get this, more importantly, this company rocks my socks because it has given over 1 Million dollars in donated funds for research to the Melanoma Research Foundation! (Tell me the last time you heard about Covergirl doing that sh*t. )

That's right- and I quote "Inspired by Lisa Blandino, Too Faced creator Jerrod Blandino’s sister, who is battling skin cancer comes this beauty kit with a heart of golden pink. A gorgeous collection of four exclusive eye shadows two lip glosses and one big ol’ duo face shimmer all in shades of pink and gold. And did we mention a fat chunk of the proceeds benefit the Melanoma Research Foundation? See you can be pretty and thoughtful!"

How completely fabulous is that? You KNOW you want it! And the good news is, a lovely and talented friend of mine who actually works for Too Faced has donated these cute little items just to help raise awareness! So tell your friends! And your friends' friends! Just comment here today or email me and I will put your name in the hat for these 2 free adorable, fabulous kits that I will totally send to you if you win the drawing! It's just here on Miss Melanoma kids- don't miss out! Enter today! Just a few more exclamation points!!! I'm so freakin' perky about all this it's like I'm Skin Cancer Awareness Barbie! But I can't help myself! Yay!

-MM!!!!!

Silence is golden. And duct tape is silver.

My life in movies:

I sit down to write, and the truth is- it's difficult to.
I think to myself, why is this so difficult? You love to write. You write all the time.
Except, my voice says, you really don't. You only REALLY write when you feel connected.

And the big ball drops in my stomach.
And the guilt wells up in my chest.

Haven't we been over this already? We figured this out already. It's already ready already.

It's like all those movies we love: Jerry McGuire and Pretty Woman and Bridget Jones, but in all those movies it's a traditional 3 parts: the set up, the conflict, the nice and neat wrap up. Nice and neat with no strings left dangling, 2 hours and everything is resolved.
And I don't have to say that life isn't really like that, because we all know that already.

I heard someone say today that the love we hold back in this life is the only pain that follows you when it's over and you pass to the other side. It's tough to think that- that in those moments when I think, "just say it," and I'm fighting the instinct to be vulnerable- that all those moments are the ones that will follow me after death.

Allow me to just state the obvious here: life is messy and just like my day today, never wrapped up nice and neat. And the truth is, as much as I hate to admit it, I face my fears every time I sit down to write this blog, because to write it is to revisit what I thought I was already over.

I'm not over it.

I revisit cancer fears, and fears of morality, and the hatred I have that my body is so vulnerable, and the pain that I feel whenever I think about how my leg will never be the same. I refuse to work out most days because it's so hard for me to mentally deal with the physical pain that I fear will be there for the rest of my life. The limits that I don't want to be there.

And then, like American Beauty, I tell myself to just breathe. And to stop fighting. And to just realize how awesome this one little tiny moment right now is.

And right now is a good moment.

I have so few free moments these days- but there are 11 school days left so there is hope that I'll get back to posting regularly.

But instead of getting all wrapped up in that, let me just throw out the old adage that every moment is the most important moment of our lives, so as I write you and bid you goodnight, I send out gratitude that there are those of you still hanging in there and reading this blog and that I can share that gratitude with you.

For now, goodnight.

-MM

"One good thing to remember is that giving thanks- expressing gratitude- generates growth. And one way to ensure that your growth is easy, effortless, touched by grace, is to be grateful for the difficult circumstances and situations in your life. The harder it gets, the more grateful you should become. The more painful you believe it is, the more grateful you can become. And one way is to simply affirm in the midst of your difficulty and darkness I can hardly wait to see the good that will come forth from this experience, and for the strength to endure to the end, I am so grateful." - Iyanla Vanzant